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Upon Completing Another Year...


I suck at birthdays, my own and everybody else's, for different reasons.  My own because I have always found the reminder of the passage of time and my own mortality to be somewhat depressing (and it's too close to Christmas to feel like its my own special day, you know?).  What can I say, I was an angsty child.  I suck at other people's birthdays because I'm not good at remembering dates (and my personal concept of time and it's passage is a bit....fluid). I really truly embrace the opportunity to celebrate the lives of my comrades, but I may celebrate your life on a day approximating but not actually the anniversary of the beginning of your extra-uterine existence.  I don't mean any disrespect, honestly.  I just suck at birthdays.

So, it makes me feel a bit guilty (and honored and humbled) when others remember my birthday.  Today was an excellent example of this. It started out with my mom texting me birthday wishes before I'd even managed to crawl out of bed.  There were the requisite Facebook b'day greetings in my inbox.   There were cards on my desk at work when I came in. I got celebratory texts from friends all through the morning and then at lunch I found out my mom who lives 2000-odd miles away had arranged with my neighbor and a lady at work to have a cake for me.  

Before indulging in said cake (Mississippi mud good enough to make you wanna slap your mama, even if she did arrange for it), I had to go to the hospital to discharge one of my patients.  Her baby was due the 20th, and last week we had made plans to induce her labor Tuesday night and deliver her today if the baby didn't make an appearance prior. I made an offhand comment that it would be pretty cool if she had her baby on my birthday.  Well, she came in to L&D on Monday and delivered a beautiful baby girl, her first child, within 2 hours of arrival.  When I went to see her today to send them home she gave me flowers and wished me a happy birthday. My patient in the hospital who just gave birth gave me flowers for my birthday. Yeah. 

When I got back over to the clinic, the entire staff sang to me and formed a line to give me hugs (my colleague calls it the hug gauntlet). Then my fellow residents took me to dinner where we drank good wine, ate rich Italian food, and shared lots of laughs.  Then there were presents.  I feel completely spoiled and a bit overwhelmed by the outpouring of well-wishes. My little angsty core with all it's deep-seated insecurities wants to look for the catch, second-guess the sincerity, question the deservedness... But my better self (or at least the part that is better adjusted) is simply grateful for the dear friends, loving family (no matter how far flung), and all the kind people who thought it worth the effort to make my day very special indeed.  Today marks the completion of my 29th year, and I find that I am incredibly blessed. 

Comments

( 13 comments — Leave a comment )
ageofalejandro
Dec. 22nd, 2011 04:35 am (UTC)
Happy birthday! :3 Wonderful to hear you had a good day!
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:28 am (UTC)
Thanks so much. :-)
jaylee_g
Dec. 22nd, 2011 04:41 am (UTC)
Happy Birthday! It's so wonderful and heartwarming to hear that your day was special and filled with love, well wishes and happiness. You definitely deserve it! I hope the year to follow is one of your best yet *hugs*.
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:28 am (UTC)
Thank you, dear! *hugs back* :-)
writer_klmeri
Dec. 22nd, 2011 01:19 pm (UTC)
Happy birthday!! I am glad that you had a pleasant one this year.
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:29 am (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
(Deleted comment)
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:29 am (UTC)
Thanks so much, dear! :-)
persnickett
Dec. 22nd, 2011 04:01 pm (UTC)
AW. You are clearly well loved lucky to be so. On any day.

PS "Mississippi mud good enough to make you wanna slap your mama, even if she did arrange for it" - you kill me
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:30 am (UTC)
:-D Thanks!
tweedisgood
Dec. 22nd, 2011 06:53 pm (UTC)
So young! Many happy returns of the day!
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:30 am (UTC)
Thanks so much. Love the icon, btw. :-)
mistyzeo
Dec. 22nd, 2011 08:58 pm (UTC)
That is so sweet! Happy birthday!
antesqueluz
Dec. 24th, 2011 12:30 am (UTC)
Thank you! :-)
( 13 comments — Leave a comment )